This have been happening for quite a while. People have been addressing me as “weird”. I know most of them don’t say it directly, but it reflects from the way they treat me, the way they talk to me, and the look in their eyes. There’s something telling me about what’s in those people’s mind. “This guy is weird, he’s not normal, he’s not like us.”
For a very long time, I’ve been trying to get rid of this feelings. To get along with most people. To be “normal”. I’ve tried changing my personality, changing my appearance, sometimes even changing my thought about people. Nothing works. Everybody around me still have those feelings. Some of them treat me differently, some treat me the same as before, and for the worst, some of them even avoid interacting with me.
What’s wrong in me, I wonder. I’m just trying to be “normal”. To blend in the society, to please most people, and what I get is them keeping a distant from me. Am I that abominable? Am I that “weird”? Or do I deserve to be alone, to communicate with others as few as necessary.
What’s “weird” about me. What makes people feel uneasy when they speak to me? I’m finding the right answer for these questions, to fit in, to be “normal”.
I’m willing to change myself, to adapt, to improve, after I’ve found the solution to the problem of “weirdness” in me.
3 years ago
There’s a thing called “time value money”. In economy it refers to the decay of money value through time resulting from interest rates. When you deposit the money in a saving account, the bank calculate the interest and add up to your saving. You might think you have made some fortune but the fact is , you don’t gain anything!! The same amount of money in the future have less value than what it’s worth in the past. You don’t make profit from keeping money frozen in one place.
There lies some connections between time and money.However, they’re not interchangeble. Some people spend time making money ,but it’s very rare to find people being able to spend money in exchange for their time. It’s desperate when you run out of money, but there’s always something you can do to improve your condition. In this case, making some money. But for time, there’s no plan B for when you run out of time. Though relative, you cannnot “produce” time.
When people fall in love, some say time seems to stop, but the truth is that they only “wish” it stop. As time is unrenewable resource. The only thing you can do is spending it. Though you don’t spend it, it won’t stop depleting. Time is fair. Time don’t give privilege. And the next thing you know, it has passed.
What I’m trying to say after those long sequences of confusing words is that, use your time to the fullest. I’ve experienced wasting large amount of time for nothing and it’s very despairing. I’ve also experienced spending large amount of time for “something I think worthwhile” and the I felt even worse because it’s not what I truely desire.
And for the last. Though you cannot replenish time , it’s still sharable. You can still look out for someone to come and “share” their time with you ,both pleasant and painful. And after those time have passed,
It’s just like one of my friend’s saying. “What’s left behind is just memory.”
3 years ago
When you do pvp in an MMORPG, there was a situation when you get pwned by groups of people. They came together, they co-ordinate their assault, and the next thing you know, you were reborn at the last spawn-point.
You might think “Those people are fags. They can’t fight me 1 on 1 so they dog-fight me” Well, what if those characters are controlled by 1 person?
This is called “multi-boxing” in World of Warcraft. People control 2 or more characters to pvp or boss hunt or whatever. It is very rare to find people controlling 3 characters at once. Any number more than 5 seems impossible. However, imagine one day you face 32 identical shaman coming at you at the same time? You might think “This is impossible” , well , it IS possible.
I found this in the Internet. It’s one man controlling 32 shaman simultaneously. His base of operation consists of 6 notebooks, 4 display screens, 2 keyboards , and 7 trackballs !!!!!.Yes. You heard it right. He also played the game using trackballs. I call my self a game-addict , but this is beyond my imagination.
Next time when you play WOW and get pwned by 32 characters, at least say to yourself “it’s better than getting pwned by 1 person”.
3 years ago
But the real pain is just about to begin T_T
3 years ago
