Weirdness

This have been happening for quite a while. People have been addressing me as “weird”. I know most of them don’t say it directly, but it reflects from the way they treat me, the way they talk to me, and the look in their eyes. There’s something telling me about what’s in those people’s mind. “This guy is weird, he’s not normal, he’s not like us.”

For a very long time, I’ve been trying to get rid of this feelings. To get along with most people. To be “normal”. I’ve tried changing my personality, changing my appearance, sometimes even changing my thought about people. Nothing works. Everybody around me still have those feelings. Some of them treat me differently, some treat me the same as before, and for the worst, some of them even avoid interacting with me.

What’s wrong in me, I wonder. I’m just trying to be “normal”. To blend in the society, to please most people, and what I get is them keeping a distant from me. Am I that abominable? Am I that “weird”? Or do I deserve to be alone, to communicate with others as few as necessary.

What’s “weird” about me. What makes people feel uneasy when they speak to me? I’m finding the right answer for these questions, to fit in, to be “normal”.

I’m willing to change myself, to adapt, to improve, after I’ve found the solution to the problem of “weirdness” in me.